A BREAK IN THE CLOUDS
On a lonely car ride
looking through the front
window reminds you
there is an open world
outside designed to be
It’s a cloudy day
in the middle of Summer
and you’re grateful for it.
A break from the sun,
from it’s blinding optimistic
“I Melt With You”
plays on the radio
and you remember
that love is a thing that exist
somewhere outside of your car.
In the distance,
a beam of sunlight breaks
through the clouds.
You don’t chase it but hope
You will feel its warmth
HOW TO STOP THE WORLD FROM IMPLODING
How do you stop the world from imploding:
People you love will
stop loving each other
and you will watch,
powerless and angry
because all you know
about love is crumbling
right in front of you.
The world chews love
up and spits it in your face
as a tainted madness that
births cynics and pessimist.
When you’re older, you’ll wear
your distrust as a wall around your
heart to protect from its inevitable
destruction by the world.
But you know already that the
world began imploding a long time ago.
And the wall you built will crumble
just like the love that came before.
Yes, the world is set to implode,
and all you can do is watch.
People you love will
stop loving you and you
will question everything,
starting with yourself and then
moving on to every facet of
existence you’ve ever clung on to.
“I don’t like the ending of that one,
it’s sad and it feels like what you’re
saying is that love isn’t real.”
Love is as real as it ever will be.
Because if love isn’t real,
why are we even here?
The world has imploded.
And every wall you’ve built
around your heart has collapsed.
But love is not about building walls back up,
it is about learning to live without them.
Learning to live after the world has imploded
and robbed you of every ounce of hope.
But in you, I’ve found more than just an ounce.
SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION
I think I understand it now.
Spontaneous human combustion.
Because when you leave the room,
you don’t really leave the room;
And in me, everything I feel
festers until the next time I see you.
Tinnitus of the gut,
constant ringing of your laughter
lights up my eardrums and
drops down into my core
like a flare falling into a dark tunnel.
When it reaches the pit of my stomach,
It sits and burns at my insides.
It never stops burning.
On a busy day, the kind that wants to
start and end with everything
else that isn’t you,
I have brief pockets of time to
close my eyes and catch my breath.
But behind my eyelids are yours,
sparkling every time you close your eyes to laugh
that laugh that keeps burning inside of me.
When you talk I taste every word
that leaves your lips and they all taste like gasoline.
There’s a thin layer of every word you’ve ever said to me on my skin.
As days pass, it doesn’t wash away, only
absorbs deeper into my body
until its running through my veins.
Blood isn’t meant to boil with admiration
but this fire refuses to stop burning.
When you walk back into the room
and I pick up my head
to look at you,
I burst into flames.